To the Man of My Future

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Here’s my own version of “Letter to the Man I Will Love Someday.

Dear You,

When I think of you, I always get this mixed emotions. First, I feel really stupid for imagining someone that only exists inside my head. Then, it excites me because I know that someday my long-time search will eventually be finished and we can finally start living “the dream.” But in the end, just like the rest of the girls who writes letters to “the man they will love someday,” I also can’t help but wonder if you really exist.

You see, I am not the easiest girl to date. I am way too far from being your ideal girl either. So unlike other girls who are confident enough that they will find someone, I fear that someone like you who will be attracted to someone like me don’t exist. But then again, if a poor man can suddenly be a millionaire overnight by winning the lottery–it doesn’t hurt to believe that someday I will hit the jackpot and be someone’s princess too.

There are things you will not know about me in the beginning. Just like you, I will show you my best sides first and will be in my best behavior. But as early as now, I want to be honest and tell you that I did some things in the past that I am not proud of. There are secrets in my life and you may not like some of them. What I am hoping is that you, the man of my future, will still see me as a treasure despite all the junk that comes with the package.

Future man, I have met a lot of toads in the past so forgive me if I may be skeptical about you at first. There are things you will have to accept about me and the life I live and I would rather find out in the beginning if you are capable of trying. I ask that you will tell me early on before my heart gets too involved. Because to tell you frankly, I am not sure if I can afford another heartbreak. I know it seems a lot to ask but don’t worry, I will give the same to you.

I ask too–that you do not expect me to change the traits that make me who I am. I am not perfect, nobody is. There will be times that I will be stubborn, lazy, or impatient. When that happens, I ask for your patience. One thing I can assure you though is that I will not ask you of anything more than you can give.

I am proud to tell you that I make a great friend, and I look forward to our long talks, may it be funny or meaningful ones. It may sound silly but I used to dream of us sitting outside Starbucks having coffee, while checking out awesome cars, pretty girls or cute guys that pass by. I imagine us hanging out in the living room eating popcorn, with you trying to steal the remote from me and changing the channel to ESPN. Or me trying to cook up a simple dinner for us on Valentines Day while you pretend to like it and tell me that it’s delicious.

You will be the man of my future. That is the only thing I am sure of. I may know you already or have yet to meet you someday, either way I am just as thrilled. But even though I am excited to start my forever with you, you must know that I am not in a hurry to meet you. I don’t want to rush things because I don’t want us to be just like any other couples who easily give up when trials come their way. I want to know you at the time when we’re both ready for each other. No matter how long it takes.

Please promise though, that you will never give up looking for me. Because even though I sometimes doubt your existence, I will never stop searching for you.

With hopes that I will be yours for always,

  • Good Enough to Stay or Bad Enough to Leave?


    […] I am not saying that I am a perfect partner, I am not. In fact, I am way imperfect that I sometimes feel I’m not even “datable.” But the thing is, I am a very logic-oriented person, and I tend to mentally tally the pros and cons […]

  • smoothsolidade



  • Kat


    Thank you! 🙂

  • smoothsolidade


    Reblogged this on smoothsolidade and commented:
    well … curiosity led me here .. i hope the end will not be the death …
    i enjoyed reading it soo much !

  • Edward


    I'm glad to hear that your letter was heard. Indeed, there's light at the end of the tunnel, Take good care of it with a lot of patience, understanding and most of all — forgiveness. A lot of persons would rather climb up the corporate ladder or immerse themselves with material things this world has to offer, but you — you now have something that most people can only wish for or rather just dream about.

    May both you have the time of your life every minute of each passing day, Godbless 🙂

  • Kat


    Hi Edward,

    Yes, I found him already, months after writing this letter and I actually did just that — be myself. I am glad I didnt actually show my "best side" bec I know in my heart that I am loved in spite of all the negativities in me. Thank you for landing on this blog post, yes I indeed wrote this w/ a lot of emotions at that time. It was a mix of sadness and hope. But now I am nothing but happy. I am glad I waited. 🙂


  • Edward


    I am not sure if you have found him already as I have only read about this now.This letter is indeed spoken with your heart. I guess the same goes for most people in such situations. You see, my personal opinion is — in Love comes Risk. Both people are of course showing their best traits to start with. Maybe both of you'll be going to places, laugh at each other and really have a good time. For guys, well definitely try to impress you with things we know you would like just to get your attention. And this kind of thing will go on for months or maybe even years.

    But how about if you try it the other way around. To show that other person who you really are initially. I know it sounds crazy or may not make any sense but I believe that a person who would accept and love you even in your worst predicament will be the one willing to be with you forever. This person will be patient enough to fetch you everyday, to wait for you to cool down when your not really in the mood or having a bad day and in such occasions that your facing any problem, this guy would be there even when others are moving away.

    I maybe wrong but then again its just my opinion.

  • Kat


    Thank you Tom! Yes, will surely check it out 🙂

    God bless!

  • Tom Baker


    A very interesting letter Kat. I have heard that some girls do write letters like that. I also agree with some of the things Ned said. Love finds a way. It isn't something you really need to search for. I have a post on my site called The Most Beautiful Girl In The World. If you stop by and read it, please leave a comment and tell me what you think. The address is:

  • Good Enough to Stay or Bad Enough to Leave? | Curiosity killed the KAT.


    […] I am not saying that I am a perfect partner, I am not. In fact, I am way imperfect that I sometimes feel I’m not even “datable.” But the thing is, I am a very logic-oriented person, and I tend to mentally tally the pros and cons […]

  • Kat


    Wow, I don't know what to say. Thank you, whoever you are.. You just inspired me.

    – Kat

  • @nednared


    Dear Kat,

    I stumbled on your blog today and your letter spoke to me. I thought it was a warm and honest letter, the kind that you keep in a shoebox under your bed, and take out to read on moonlit evenings or rainy afternoons.

    People are constantly falling in love, dear Kat. They do not always become lovers, but better friends. I like the Mexican proverb: A good friendship is better than a bad romance.

    There are times, when I am patient enough, I trawl the twitter stream and read the chatter. There are so many beautiful, well-educated and successful women out there whose lives seem so empty. Why is that? Is it because they seem to chase after princes?

    This I will tell you from a man's heart, often it is the toads that you miss. The ones who truly adore you are right in front of you or sitting next to you in your office, but if you are too busy looking elsewhere you will not notice them. Or they might be your best of best male friends, who is afraid that if he spoke his true feelings he would lose you forever.

    I am sure there are many men out there whose hearts beat a little faster in your presence (and beat just the same hoping for your presence).

    Perhaps, you've already been found. You just don't know it yet.

    I can't speak for all men. But I speak from my own experience.

    Open your Heart, gentle soul.


    I thought you would like these lines from Pablo Neruda, which I shared with a long-time friend. I came across these lines one evening, and was deeply moved by these words. I have copied them down here for you as well.

    Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

    Write, for example, ‘The night is shattered
    and the blue stars shiver in the distance.’

    The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

    Tonight, I can write the saddest lines.
    I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

    Through nights like this one, I held her in my arms.
    I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

    She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
    How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

    Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
    To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have
    lost her.

    To hear the immense night, still more immense
    without her.
    And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

    What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
    The night is shattered and she is not with me.

    This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In
    the distance.
    My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

    Pablo Neruda, “The Saddest Lines”,
    Translated from the Spanish by W.S. Merwin

    P.P.S. Forget about the ramp models, they are paid to look that way. Nice to look at, difficult to maintain. There is nothing more sensual or beautiful than a woman confident in her own skin… so flirt a little (not too much), be smart, be mysterious, be yourself…

  • Kat


    Aww, thank you! 🙂

  • JP


    The man of your life might be sitting next to you in the office or living next to the door of your house. Just be yourself and ready to accept and love him as he is for he will wish/strive to love you as you are. I like your letter. Good luck.

  • Sophia


    Great post!

    Kind regards, Sophia

  • theepicjar


    Well most people don't get all the wants in their letter to the one they love, but it happens. A friend of mine married the guy she was addressing in her letter and they're expecting their first child in a few months.

  • Kat


    Prolly not. But I'm pretty sure my future guy will land on this blog and eventually read this. 🙂

  • Musings of a bou


    Would you ever give your letter to the guy you would date?

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